oh hasn't it been ages? - Apologies, apologies...
Christmas came and went (thank God for that... the end of forced consumerism... we finally can shop again because we want to) and we entered the new decade that is 2010 with a lot of KAPOW, champers and fireworks.
Daisy had her debut, celebrated in style and made sure the world is now one big happy la la land.
We want to be good to this city that we call home and help those who don't have one. Thanks to all the wonderful artists who have donated their time and talent and have created some gobsmackingly good art.
Now peeps, the sale continues shortly, yes, yes, yes... keep your eyes and wallets open... Go on then, you know you want one!!!
Right, and because life doesn't run smoothly and yes because we have so much damn time to spare... this 'thing', that messes with our heads and turns us into useless jellyfish, aka as dating, has entered our lives. Surely you guys are now thinking: "Oh, good for you!" We should be radiant with all those endorphins that make us happy, chirpy and shine like the sun itself. We do agree. That is if things were still as easy as they used to be. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could catapult ourselves into Rosamunde Pilchers pre-WW II, soppy, heartbreakingly beautiful novels? - Boy meets girl, one glance, butterflies and all ... next day, big love confessions ... he goes to war, she waits ... deep, meaningful letters are sent back n forth ... he returns ... wedding ... and they lived happily ever after. Tadaaa!!
But no, did we not mention that we are now living in the complete madness that is the 21st Century?! Things are different, we constantly strive for the bigger, better, more beautiful... Society is one big 'upside-down'. Our five year old nephews have been dating their girlfriends for over a year and reassure us that she's definitely marriage material and our 50-year old friends are still looking for the woman of their dreams and we STILL don't know how to date properly.
So we've met someone. Interesting. Good-looking. Nice. Absolutely nothing wrong... BUT before anything else, the crucial question arises ... will mum and dad, aunt Gertrude and uncle Heinrich, friends and acquaintances, the neighbours and last but not least the little cousin and her dog approve?! If not ... forget it!
More important than personality or soul-mate-compatibility is, of course, the profession. If he is not a lawyer, banker or business consultant things start to get difficult. Lazy, wanna-be-successful bums such as artists and musicians are absolute faux pas (why?).
He can't be too old nor too young, not too pretty (because pretty people are pricks) nor too ugly (why would you want to date 'that' face?!)
A girl has to be independent, educated and successful ... but not too much so, because he may feel inferior and yes, that is a bad thing and an absolute relationship killer. Remember, we are still carrying the genes of our ancestors, the cave-men ... where he goes out, kills a mammoth with his bare hands so that she can make one nice big dinner. And of course, she can't be too young (not enough life experience) nor too old (who likes 'left-overs').
Once we have actually managed to go on a date, we already worry that we might have screwed up, because we accidentally mentioned the absolute NO-NOs : ex-boyfriends, marriage or that Hollywood star we've had a massive crush on forever. I mean we are girls ... why are we not allowed to talk about girly things? :(
Anyways, what's next? Do you kiss after the first date, go up for coffee ...? Ask when the next date is going to be?
Oh and once it's over; who calls first? Do you wait three agonising days? A week, two? Do you say if you are not interested? Or do you just wait for it to fizzle out and like a praying mantis wait for your next prey?
You are told to be mean to keep them keen. If you appear desperate you've killed it and may just as well move on. Yet aloof isn't that great either; you could emanate a negative aura aka disinterest and nothing will ever happen of that...
Already too many rules. Who is supposed to keep up with this and even more so, how are we meant to do the right thing or enjoy our date if we have a list of DOs and DON'Ts rattling in the back of our heads.
Right... so listen to Daisy ... be yourselves ... fact is if your counterpart likes you they'll like you fat, skinny, pimply, chatty, shy, quiet, tired ... and it really does not matter what you say. Forget the rules! Turn off that damn list and enjoy your date! Be as bonkers as the world that surrounds you and you'll soon have an eclectic collection of memorable dates... and of course we wanna know ;) tell us, tell us!
'til next week m'dears...
Much love,
LD xoxo
NOW
and THEN
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